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Couldn't leave it alone could you jymbob?

 

You had to Poker

 

You knew she would Fire Back at you

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https://join.worldcommunitygrid.org?recruiterId=596475 Letting the idle processors on phone and PC help humanity

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/vesuvius/ Even though I have a lever

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Trump has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him."I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have

Bloody  Fuming  Got a ticket for undertaking on the M6 !! Running late yesterday and so I opted to use the motorway instead of the A500. I joined just before they closed the slip road to all

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A man goes into a bar, and starts to be chatted up by a beautiful woman. Tall, elegant, voluptuous lips, long blonde hair, white teeth and a bosom to die for......she buys him a couple of drinks.....they chat and flirt and before long she suggests going back to her flat.......they get there, drink wine, dance and soon end up in bed.

After a long night of passion, they eventually go to sleep tired out. Next morning he is awoken by the sun streaming through the windows. he lies there, totally at peace with himself until suddenly his eye catches a photograph of a man, that he had not noticed before. She turns over and smiles at him and rather tentatively he says, are you married.....is that your husband in the photo?

No, she replies, that me......pre operation!

Edited by dfk41

How do you tell a donkey from a race horse?

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It's prom night, and Billy has decided that he's going to give his date Lucy the best he can. First he goes to hire a suit. There's a long line, but he gets a great suit. Next he goes to the florist to get her a corsage. There's a long line again but eventually he gets one and it's beautiful. Next he goes to the car rental for a limo. There's a really long line, but he gets the last stretch limo. At 7pm sharp he arrives at Lucy's. She's blown away, and they had off to the prom. After a couple of dances she asks him to get her some punch. He goes over to the drinks table and there's no punch line.

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I just got a pet newt. I've called him Tiny because he's my newt.

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https://join.worldcommunitygrid.org?recruiterId=596475 Letting the idle processors on phone and PC help humanity

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/vesuvius/ Even though I have a lever

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This other newt I have only drinks espresso

 

I call him "8"

I also do 

https://join.worldcommunitygrid.org?recruiterId=596475 Letting the idle processors on phone and PC help humanity

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/vesuvius/ Even though I have a lever

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I was just walking through the woods today when I found a suitcase

Inside there was a fox and four cubs

I phoned the RSPCA

The woman on the phone asked "Are they are moving?"

I said " I don't know.... but it would explain the suitcase"

I also do 

https://join.worldcommunitygrid.org?recruiterId=596475 Letting the idle processors on phone and PC help humanity

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/vesuvius/ Even though I have a lever

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So, How many ducks do the kill to make a roll of duck tape?

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https://join.worldcommunitygrid.org?recruiterId=596475 Letting the idle processors on phone and PC help humanity

https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/vesuvius/ Even though I have a lever

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06c7a1dca457533a4d8be6e5757ba76a.jpg

 

Sorry to state the obvious, but this number directly correlates with the sidewalls of the cake tin. I usually wonder why they even bother to put it in the recipe...

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Obviously an old quote, however, made me laugh once again when I came across it today:

 

"I always keep a brandy handy in case I see a snake. Which I also keep handy."

 

W.C.Fields

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