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Muppetry

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Nearly turned the pump on the other day whilst cup was nowhere near the place it should be...


Twitter @Froggystyle

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Having drunk too much coffee recently I am now completely sleep=deprived.

And that, your honour, is the case for the defence for this heinous act of muppetry:

This morning I made myself the customary cappuccino. Spent ages prepping the basket, exactly 18g etc etc.

Heated the boiler to steam the milk. Then decided to flush a bit through to clean the group so I switched the control to 'brew' so that I could get some water through. Then started steaming the milk. Hmm. Not stretching very well. Temp stuck at about 100°F on my milk thermometer. A quick glance at the PID: I've forgotten to switch back to steam and I'm steaming at brewing temperature. MUPPET!


Rocket R58Ceado E37SAeropressAerGrind • Puck Puck cold brew widget • VST 18g basket • Torr Goldfinger 58.5 convex black Ti/walnut tamper • Torr Goldfinger 58.5 flat sharp edge tamper • Big bag o' beans • Triumph Street Triple 675R

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Made my coffee this morning, removed the portafilter and replaced with blanking disk. Gave the machine a couple of flushes then went to the fridge to get jug and milk to steam. Came back with jug of milk and noticed water all over the worktop... arrgh my machine has a leak.... err no, I just haven't emptied the drip tray for a few days its absolutely overflowing with water !

MUPPET !

Bert- facepalm[1].jpeg


:coffee:Marcus

Isomac Tea + Nuova Simonelli Mythos+ VST 18g + Torr Brass Goldfinger Tamper

[ Gaggia Coffee Deluxe + Gaggia MDF Grinder + Gaggia 'Gold' Classic + Motta Convexed Tamper ]

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On holiday I guesstimate the weight of beans to use in the aeropress by filling the bottom of my hausgrind with beans. Can't remember how many times I put it back together and ground with no resistance. TThat's right - the beans were still in the collection cup of the grinder.


a grinder a lever and some beans

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Spent ages fiddling with the grind, could just not the shot right. I think the beans are a bit dodgy, but whatever.

 

Finally, after about 5 attempts it finally goes right. I reach the 10 second mark and have about 8 grams of espresso out. I am ridiculously relieved.

 

 

Until I hear "URGHHHH, URGHHHH, URGHHHHH". My Duetto run out of water.

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In Cornwall. Unpacked coffee paraphernalia this morning. Remembered everything but the basket for my Aeropress! Muppet! French press it is then.


Espresso: Ceado E92 (modified for single dose); Vesuvius; VST baskets and refractometer.

Other: Aeropress, Sowden and Alessi Moka Pot; Mazzer Robur doser with Auber timer; Mazzer Mini E; Expobar Leva Dual Boiler

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Have we had this one yet?

 

Making a pourover straight into a mug.. Preheat both with hot water and then forget to empty the water from the mug.

 

Cue overflowing mug, soaked kitchen counter and scales and diluted coffee.

 

Just done this about 5 minutes ago.

 

Other half kept asking me things and I completely forgot that one step in my routine. Was the last of my Finca La Fany too. :(


If I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words-into-sentences putting.

 

"Seriously, going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You'll get it, but it's going to be rough" - Adam Hills

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One from this morning..

 

Weighed out beans into a glass for single dosing into the Super Jolly and tipped them in. Started the grinder and nothing comes out of the doser. Took the lid off to find sticky brown mulch blocking the chute.

 

Turns out there was water in the glass from last night. It gave me a good reason to clean everything out at least.

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I've got a great one from this morning, woke up far too early when the phone rang, a friend who'd got his time zones mixed up, so put the phone headset in and decided to make a coffee seeing as I was sort of awake anyway, and in a feat of supreme idiocy having made the espresso and steamed the milk, and poured it all, for some stupid reason, whilst supposedly cleaning the machine I put the entire drink in the cup under the steam wand, dropped it in and switched it one, and f*** me what a mess that makes, just don't try this one at home, it did wake me up though being sprayed with a hot flat white.


Common sense is not a gift, it's a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone that doesn't have it !!!

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I've got a great one from this morning, woke up far too early when the phone rang, a friend who'd got his time zones mixed up, so put the phone headset in and decided to make a coffee seeing as I was sort of awake anyway, and in a feat of supreme idiocy having made the espresso and steamed the milk, and poured it all, for some stupid reason, whilst supposedly cleaning the machine I put the entire drink in the cup under the steam wand, dropped it in and switched it one, and f*** me what a mess that makes, just don't try this one at home, it did wake me up though being sprayed with a hot flat white.

 

Another top tip is dont try and make fizzy milk in a sodastream machine - that does make a mess !

 

This mornings attempt from me was I opened a new bag of beans, took off the lid and was about to pour in the beans when I relaised that I was about to pour beans into the water reservoir rather than the bean hopper. Woke up just in time !


a grinder a lever and some beans

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Another top tip is dont try and make fizzy milk in a sodastream machine - that does make a mess !

 

This mornings attempt from me was I opened a new bag of beans, took off the lid and was about to pour in the beans when I relaised that I was about to pour beans into the water reservoir rather than the bean hopper. Woke up just in time !

 

 

Looks like it was a good morning for muppetry then :D


Common sense is not a gift, it's a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone that doesn't have it !!!

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Another top tip is dont try and make fizzy milk in a sodastream machine - that does make a mess !

 

Funny you should say that, we tried it once many moons ago after smoking something we shouldn't have been smoking, thinking it was hilarious as milk sprayed everywhere when you release the bottle!


Twitter @Froggystyle

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But why (apart from being stoned) would anyone want fizzy milk? That sounds so horrible, and I like milk. And fizzy stuff. But fizzy milk?!


Rocket R58Ceado E37SAeropressAerGrind • Puck Puck cold brew widget • VST 18g basket • Torr Goldfinger 58.5 convex black Ti/walnut tamper • Torr Goldfinger 58.5 flat sharp edge tamper • Big bag o' beans • Triumph Street Triple 675R

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I have no idea why we tried it, boredom, being young, Stoned... Who knows!

 

 

 

Dont do drugs, just say no!


Twitter @Froggystyle

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Awww dangit! Opened all the Velux windows this morning (looked like a scorcher) and went out with the kids. Who knew Hampton had a monsoon season, or that the contents of a swimming pool would fit inside my house?


Espresso: Ceado E92 (modified for single dose); Vesuvius; VST baskets and refractometer.

Other: Aeropress, Sowden and Alessi Moka Pot; Mazzer Robur doser with Auber timer; Mazzer Mini E; Expobar Leva Dual Boiler

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School boy error - I forgot to take a bag of beans out of the freezer (I'll leave the freezer debate for another thread).

 

The choice was no coffee or grinding frozen beans. Of course, I couldn't do without a coffee .....


Rocket Giotto Evo, Gaggia Classic and modded SJ

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Beans defrost pretty quick, especially if you weigh out a single dose

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This morning, stuck my brush head in the grinds chute of the Royal as burrs hadn't stopped spinning. It doesn't take any prisoners either.


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I've done that with my finger before. Twice. Got away with it both times too.

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I was single dosing, but the beans did go straight from the freezer into the grinder. I trusted the Super Jolly to sort the grind out and it did.


Rocket Giotto Evo, Gaggia Classic and modded SJ

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The other day. Brand new bag of beans. Open bag to have a look. Stub toe. Beans all out the back door right after the garden had been thoroughly watered.


'it's all about the microbubbubbles'

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I am the biggest muppet of all!

 

Today, I forgot to boil the kettle. :rolleyes:

 

Yup. I am the supreme numpty! The moron or morons. The CaterhamF1 of coffee... ;)


If I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words-into-sentences putting.

 

"Seriously, going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You'll get it, but it's going to be rough" - Adam Hills

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But why (apart from being stoned) would anyone want fizzy milk? That sounds so horrible, and I like milk. And fizzy stuff. But fizzy milk?!

 

I was about 15 at the time so was in a sober state - no herbal cigarettes to blame for my trial. It was more case of sodastream... milk ..... hmmmm I wonder

 

Some years later a drinks machine on site had a very basic code to the drinks. Digit 1 was hot / cold, digit 2 was flat / fizzy, digit 3 was the drink type.

 

Although not advertised you could request hot, fizzy coke, cold fizzy coffee - the permeations were endless (and horrible !)


a grinder a lever and some beans

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Ha! Someone actually designed a machine that would let you do that? Lol!

 

I think when I was a teenager I may have tried putting milk in the Sodastream just out of curiosity now I think about it.


Rocket R58Ceado E37SAeropressAerGrind • Puck Puck cold brew widget • VST 18g basket • Torr Goldfinger 58.5 convex black Ti/walnut tamper • Torr Goldfinger 58.5 flat sharp edge tamper • Big bag o' beans • Triumph Street Triple 675R

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Half asleep this morning I turned the steam button on the classic off instead of turning the steam knob off, not thinking I then lowered the jug and sprayed milk everywhere.


Modded Fracino Heavenly | Eureka Zenith 65e | 15g/18g VST's | Made By Knock 58.35mm Tamper | Torr 58.4mm Tamper | AeroPress | V60 | NotNeutral Mugs | A cupboard full of stuff

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